mnr

The Neo-Con double standards drive me crazy The neo-con echo chamber on talk radio and Fox news astounds me with their audacity and hopeful dependence on the short memory of its audience. To the left is a great clip from the daily show, comparing "then" and "now" statements that neo-con pundits have made about Sarah Palin. For example...

Karl Rove on Mayors of small towns
August 29, 2008: listing reasons why Sarah Palin is qualified for VP - "she was the mayor of the second largest city in Alaska" (by the way, population 7,025, and is actually the fourth largest city in Alaska)
August 10th, 2008 listing reasons why Tim Kaine (former Mayor of Richmond, Virginia and Governor of Virginia) isn't qualified for VP - "With all due respect, Richmond Virginia is not a big town. Choosing Tim Kaine as a candidate is saying that you're really not concerned if this person is capable of being President of the United States" (by the way, Richmond, Virginia has a population of 1.1 million, and is the third largest city in Virginia. Oh - and the Capital city of Virginia)

Bill O'Reilly on Teen Pregnancy
December 18, 2007: "On the pinhead front, 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. But here the blame falls primarily on the parents of the girl, who obviously have little control over her."

August 2008: "Teenage pregnancy is a personal matter. Some people will judge Governor Palin, but we hope it calms down."

Dick Morris on Sexism...

November 5, 2007: When a woman wants to be President she shouldn't complain based on gender."

In regards to Hillary Clinton "This is what Hillary always does. Whenever she gets under fire, she retreats behind the apron strings."

In regards to Sarah Palin "A man would never have to go through this - it's deep sexism"

Even Sarah herself weighs in on the topic of women needing to be strong in the face of criticism. But I'll leave it to you to watch the remainder of the video...

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Photos from our 100th Birthday This year, Janell and I will each turn 50. Combined, that's 100 years old. So we had a 100th birthday party last weekend.

We started off with the world's largest Scrabble game, followed by a performance by the Supa Dupa Marimba Bros. For those of you that couldn't make it, here are some photos...

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My stories in Analog Magazine! The most recent issue of Analog Magazine contains the third story I've co-written with Rick Lovett. For the sake of posterity, here are links to the stories, and potential places you can buy the text or magazine.

NetPuppets: Dennis Brophy does computer support for a large pharmaceutical firm. He's overqualified for his job, but that's okay because he's a bit of a slacker, and when he's not upgrading memory chips or teaching people how to turn on their consoles, there's plenty of time to explore the Internet. Recently, he's found an unusually realistic character simulation program, apparently designed by psychological researchers who never bothered to shut it down when they were finished with it. He and three friends create some characters and set about trying to figure out ways to force them to do what they want in this twisty tale of human nature at its best ... and worst.

Deadly Intent: This was a really fun story to write. It was initially started as a challenge to a bunch of authors to start with a prescribed sentence, then complete the story using your own plotline. Unfortunately, none of the other authors completed the project. Rick and I wrote a version that was good enough for Analog.

The sentence: Courtney Brandt was warm to the touch. Which was truly bizarre because she was so solidy frozen I couldn't depress her skin enough to have found a pulse if there had been one to find. The story is a technical who-dunnit with a twist that software programmers will relate to.

"New Wineskins" is chillingly plausible and close to home, about a journalist who wanders into a scene that seems a little too idyllic to be true--and it is, concealing a sinister new twist on a (relatively) old problem.

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The Melodious Song of the Guinea Fowl My family is aware that I like to experiment outside the lines of normal behavior. Nothing completely unexpected: no public nudity, no unusual structures, no explosives. However, my neighbors have recently become aware of my attraction to the odd, due to a mildly rash decision on my part.

Enter the wild Guinea Fowl. First, you're aware that I have a small flock of chickens that we keep for eggs. Recently, I applied for a Multnomah County Animal Facility License, and am now legally able to keep up to 10 chickens. This was in preparation to begin raising chickens for meat, as well as eggs.

The economics of raising chickens for meat requires that you start them from eggs, or chicks. Rearing them in an incubator requires a lot of fiddling around, and costs about $2 per chick to get started. In contrast, a rooster and a broody hen do the job for free, and with no need for a messy incubator. Too bad Roosters are illegal in city limits, due to the never-ending racket they create. And I say that nicely.

I was surfing Craigslist for fertile eggs, and came across some folks that had three Guinea Fowls (two hens and a rooster) they needed to get rid of. I did some quick internet lookup, and found that - oh joy - Guinea Fowl Roosters don't crow! And ... their meat is a prized delicacy in France. This looks like a great solution - they'll raise a crop of birds every three months - all I need to do is supply a small amount of food.

Well - I wish I had taken better notes on my sources, as I have learned that Guinea roosters don't crow, because they can't hope to match the amount of noise raised by Guinea hens. They simply don't shut up, you can hear them for about two or three blocks, and they reliably start at about 5:00 am. After the first morning, I circulated around the three block radius to discuss the new sound in the neighborhood, and my plans for noise abatement.

I have also learned that the hen's call is different than the roosters - and that I have three hens. So the whole self-reproducing thing isn't going to happen. Which is a good thing, considering that ten of these birds would generate more complaints than any single barking dog.

We are now two days and counting from an appointment with Harrington Poultry Processing. The neighbors can hardly wait...

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Little Paper Cups Full Of Water May 25th. I'll be handing out paper cups of water at the University of Oregon Duck Bill Thrill Triathlon. Swim 1500m, Bike 40km and run 10km. I used to compete in these things - now I've moved to a more dignified (?) role.

Ok - I'm doing this because Will is competing in the race, and it's always a hoot to watch these folks do the event. Annndddd - Alex Ann (Will's girlfriend) is organizing the event. You can imagine it's a TON of work, so I'm happy to do whatever to make sure she gets a full enrollment. In fact, if you need a ride, send me an email (use the "contact us" link to the side of this message.)

But you - you ought to sign up first!

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No Free Oil Change For You! I like Ron Tonkin Honda. Really.

Update, June 5th, 2008: I sent a copy of this letter to Ron Tonkin Honda in response to one of their postcards regarding customer service. About a week later, I received a phone call, telling me that there had been a mistake, and that the closer simply forgot to fill out the paperwork for the free oil change. As I am writing this update, I am looking at a laminated LIFETIME OIL CARD. No arguments, they just did it. So I'm sold - In a sea of suspect auto dealerships, I would back Ron Tonkin Honda as one of the most honorable bunch of folks I've ever dealt with. Really.

My neighbor dinged the corner of my 2007 Honda CR-V, so I've even had some experience with the body shop. I did a competitive pricing - guess what. Ron Tonkin Honda was the cheapest. And they did an amazing job. Go get your body work done there. Absolutely.

Actually, I bought the CR-V from them. Good price, nice guys. I even liked the guy who sold me the car. His name is Dan Mason - go buy a car from him. Seriously.

But when you buy that car, watch out for the closer (the nicely dressed guy in the back room) and the extended warranty. I mean, come on. How many times has Consumer Reports told us that extended warranties just aren't worth it. And I told this guy no less than three times that I didn't want the warranty. He would drop the topic, then come back around to it after a couple of minutes - each time telling me more about the wonders of an extended warranty - and dropping the price. Each time I said no, because come on - how many times has Consumer Reports told us that extended warranties just aren't worth it. PAY ATTENTION

I changed my mind when he told me that it included free oil changes. Actually I didn't, because there was a good chance that we would be moving out of state, and free oil changes at Ron Tonkin Honda would probably have meant a 1,000 mile drive. But Janell and I did some quick math, figured that we weren't going to move for a year, and that a year of oil changes might make the whole thing worth it. We confirmed that oil changes were part of the deal, heard "yes", asked where that was stated in writing, and then bought the Advantage Vehicle Service Contract for $700.00. In fact, we have pretty distinct memories of being told that the warranty pretty much covered all routine maintenance items, such as tire rotation, anti-freeze, etc. oops

By the way - $700 was about 1/4 or 1/5th of the original stated price on this contract.

So recently, my beloved Honda CR-V flashes the wrench sign, and tells me it's time to get the oil changed. I schedule an appointment with Ron Tonkin, and they get me in early. They have wi-fi so I can hang out while they're changing the oil. It's like hanging out in the United Airlines Ambassador Club. Cool

Then I find out that although my first oil change is free, the tire rotation is not, nor are subsequent oil changes. I self-assuredly pull out my maintenance book which includes all related paperwork, show it to the service rep, who assures me that I don't get free oil service. He even goes and gets the nicely-dressed closer-guy from the back room - who assures me that I don't have free oil changes, and that Ron Tonkin Honda would never mis-represent a promise. I dig through the Coverage Booklet, and have to admit that I can't find anything about free oil changes. In fact, there seems to be a $100 deductible option on the contract as well. Way more than the value of an oil change. I should have listened to those guys at Consumer Reports. dog-gonit!

Janell assures me that we heard "free oil change", but I didn't think to have the video camera running when nice-suit-guy brought it up. So, like Jim Carrey in "Liar liar", I'm forced to resort to whiney blog entries in the hopes that karma will have out.

Moral of the story: Ron Tonkin is cool. But the Advantage warranty by Protective doesn't change your oil. Seriously.

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Recording with Westminster Presbyterian Jazz Quartet I play bass with a group from Westminster Presbyterian Church. We play a Jazz Sunday about twice a year, as well as other scattered events. I won a recording session at an auction, so on February 25th the four of us gathered in the Klickitat Band Camp recording studio for five hours of recording

It's the first recording session I've been through - terrifying because you know that every muffed note is preserved for posterity - which makes it all the harder to find the right note. Errp...

We had our moments of brilliance, and overall, its probably a reasonable effort. Let me know if you want a link to the mp3's.

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Luna goes to summer camp Our friends, the Prices, loaned us their dog Luna for a weekend back in 2003.

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Beating a ticket for driving in Firenze Yes! MNR SCORES!

Last summer, Janell and I were traveling in Italy. As part of the trip, we rented a van to drive from Tuscany to Florence. The car rental drop-off location, as well as our hotel, were apparently located inside of the city of Florence. For those of you driving in Italy, you'll want to know that there are locations where cars are excluded, and if you drive in those areas, you will be fined. Florence is one of those cities. These are called ZTL (Zona a Traffico Limitato - Limited Traffic Zones). It will cost you 82 Euros if you get caught in these zones - and you WILL get caught.

You'll first hear about this a couple of months after you return, via a ticket mailed to your home address. It points to a website where you can see pictures of you driving in the zone, your license plate, an english version of the citation, and other fascinating information. Oh joy!

But panic not. There is a way to resolve this. If you happen to have proof that you were driving to your hotel, then you have (short term) permission to be in the ZTL. I contacted our hotel (Florence Old Bridge) via email and explained my situation. They promptly responded with a note explaining that we were their guests, and to excuse the ticket. I printed out all the forms, filled them out to the best of my ability, stapled the Florence Old Bridge letter on top, and sent the stack back via certified mail.

Today, I received a letter from European Municipality Outsourcing telling me that my fine was canceled and my fine is settled.

I suppose the moral of the story is to notify your hotel that you will be driving, and that you'll need to notify the police station that you are in transit to get to your hotel. It will be cheaper and easier if you do it while you are still there.

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Aaron is running a survey This past summer, Aaron and two of his friends ran a small business building chicken coops. Their company name was "Flock in a Box" (All you add is water!) For $400, they would build a chicken coop and bring it to your house, complete with watering and feeding bins, food, bedding and three chickens. All you add is water.

They are now doing an independent research project at school on how to build better chicken coops. If you have a minute - would you take their survey. You can find it at http://www.niemannross.com/fiab. It is pretty quick, and will help them with their research.

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